RECIPE FOR GRANNY'S BHANG CAKE:

RECIPE FOR GRANNY'S BHANG CAKE:

And don't give me no guff about prohibition. Pot's safe enough for babies. Mamas used to use it to put babies to sleep when they were teething, before those damn liars in Washington pulled the cotton over everybody's eyes.

INGREDIENTS 8 oz Cannabis leaves 2 sticks butter 2 cans whole evaporated milk 1 store-bought cake mix (moist) of choice Very large pot/kettle Lots of water Takes about 24 Hours to become Bhang. Then use equal amount of Bhang to replace liquid in cake mix.

DIRECTIONS: Cover Cannabis in water in pot. Boil 1/2 hour. Drain, throw out water, save Cannabis. Do this at least 4 times. Now take drained Cannabis, place in pot, add butter and canned milk. Bring to a boil. Then simmer for eight (8) hours. [NOTE: When cooking, keep Cannabis moist or covered with water at all times. May need to add an occasional cup of water.] When simmer is complete, drain, save liquid and very carefully dispose of wet Cannabis mass. Makes more liquid than cake mix asks for, so will need to simmer covered liquid down to 1 and 1/2 cups. Don't let it burn.& When amount is 1 1/2 cups...That's the Bhang. Make cake mix as directed, except substitute Bhang for liquid. You will need to add the eggs. Bake as directed. Best served warm. Be careful - it is deceptively delicious. Granny's Bhang Cake is strong enough for 96 2-3oz servings so have a party.

DOSE: Individual. For new/light users recommend beginning with 2oz slice. I usually eat 5 to 7 ounces at a time so don't be afraid to enjoy it. To find your personal level, start low and eat another slice if you don't feel better in 30 minutes to an hour. OVERDOSE: Could throw up, stagger, sleep for long period of time. But, believe me, you ain't gonna die, so don't panic and call 911 like that damn silly cop did with his wife's brownies. POT WILL NOT KILL YOU. Nobody dies from marijuana. Even if you eat too much, you'll probably just feel real good the next day or two after you sleep it off. CAUTION: Use your God-given common sense when disposing of leftover ingredients. This cake is too strong for children and animals. Keep ingredients away from children and pets unless you want them to sleep for days.

NEVER TRY TO OUTSMART A WOMAN

Outsmart a woman???? ......Are you kidding?

I'm gonna tell you exactly why there ain't no goldern man lying round in my bed. Cause the old fool tried to yank my chain.

 

It was years ago. My ex called home and said, "Honey, I've been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone the whole holiday.  This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you pack me enough clothes for a 3 day weekend......

 

"And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic?

 

"We're leaving at 4:30 PM from the office and I'll swing by the house to pick up my things.

 

"Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas." He says.

 

I'm thinking this sounds a bit odd, he don't never call me pet names 'cept when he wants some, but, being the good wife, I do exactly what my hubby asked.

 

Following the long weekend he came home a bit tired, but otherwise, looking good. I welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

 

"Oh Yes!" he says. "Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike.

 

"But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to?" he asks all innocent like.

 

I replied, "I did, you gosh-darn renegade (I didn't say too many curse words in them days). They're in your damn tackle box."

 

And that's why he's my ex.

Like I always say, never, never, Never try to outsmart a smart woman!!!